Which brings me back to Harry, and the subject of his Babymamma. Now I hate Baby mama drama. Any man who comes to me and tell me he still lives with his Baby Momma, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, or his mother...gives me pause for concern. Why would any man live with his ex? There are multiple reasons that men give you..and some sound so genuine and truthful that we like gullible women fall for them. Now I'm not saying that some of them aren't true. You do have some good men out there (which I am yet to find) who tell it like it is and are truthful, but if a man tells you something, and deep down you feel like he is lying, or there is a little voice telling you that something is just not right with his explanation, trust me, that is your instinct, and you need to trust it. Harry had told me the deal with his Babymomma..who I'll just call Tricia. Tricia was flying in from New York to spend a couple of weeks with their daughter, and she was staying with him. I was deeply concerned about this, but I didn't want to seem overly jealous of the mother of his child who was married to a next man and was residing in a next country, so i dropped questioning him and said "Uh huh"...and switched topics.
We had another lovely weekend, in which he wined and dined and fetted me...of course this seemed like a prelude, a sort of calm before the storm scenario, because Tricia was arriving Wednesday, I asked Harry if he was gonna pick her up and he said no. He would be too busy as most of his days and nights were spent on the road. Plus he said they needed to talk and finally put and end to their relationship (And all this time I thought there was no relationship..how could there be? The woman was living in another country and was married to another man for christ sakes!). Anyhoo he said once she was settled he and her would talk.
"Listen, I want you to know two things...one, If you and her decide to resume your relationship I don't want to be apart of it. I'm serious, If she still wants you, and you want her, I'm not gonna be the third wheel here. I'm gonna let you go."
He looked amused. "Are you Joking?" he asked, "No." I said, "I don't want to get involved, I already have feelings for you I don't want it to go any deeper and I get hurt." "OK." he said, "what's number two?"
"If she decides, even if you guys don't reconcile, there is no relationship save for your child, but if she decides to stay with you, as in live in your house, in your room, drive your car, basically live with you, I'm cutting out."
His eyebrows raised puzzled "Wha yuh mean?" he queried "Di ooman nuh come dung yet, mi nuh know wha shi a do? An mi nuh tink shi wulda really risk loosing har greencard and all wha shi go tru fi stay dung yah so. Dat nah happen" he shrugged. I sighed and said "Look 'ere, nuff people seh tings nah go happen an baps! It happen! I don't know what gwine happen wen shi come back dung, fi all i know di two a oonu a one big happy family an yuh jus use mi as a 1990 lada until yuh 2009 benz come." I kissed my teet. I was slowly getting upset...whenever I got really upset my inner Jancrow came out, and I was cussin' in creole, something about the whole situation told me that I was right, something could happen, and I was the new kid on the block.
He hugged me and kissed my head, "That is not gonna happen. I would'nt hurt you ever. Look how long mi a try look yuh? Mi really like yuh, mi woulda never hurt yuh so. Once me an har talk, mi will let yuh know wha happen." he promised.
Yeah...right. My inner voice said. I wasn't gonna put him on practice, but I really liked Harry, I had been single for soooo long it felt good to have someone for your own. I just didn't want to lose that, and I didn't want to get hurt. I prayed that night that if he should hurt me, that I would have the strength to not settle, and that I would just bow out and move on.
Wednesday arrived, I called him, just to check up on him, we talked for awhile, he told me to stop worrying, and that he was on the road. He would call me later.
That was Wednesday. Thursday came, no phone call.
Friday, Saturday, none. I called his phone multiple times, acting like a crazy deranged woman, desperately clinging to straws in an ocean where I was drowning. He did not return a single one. I called sometime 11 or more times for the day, using my cell, my home phone, my work phone...it was like an obsession. I was growing more desperate, angry, emotional as the days passed. Until I called Belle my best friend and broke down crying to her, telling her what a fool I had been to trust so easily, "Dat dutty, Bl*&dcl@$t!", I yelled at her..."Dat no good, nasty, rasshole! Dat no good Wuckliss..." and so I continued to scream, yell, shout, bawl..until eventually I settled down, my sobs stopped. Belle waited until I had settled down before she spoke.
"Kitten," (that was her nickname for me), "Kitten...how long were you and Harry dating for?". I paused, "About 2 weeks".
"Uh Huh," she said "Honey, the thing with you is, you are a smart, independent, beautiful, funny-as-hell woman who can get any man she wants. And you are letting this guy who you've been going out for 2 weeks, get to you. You are bawling over a guy you don't even properly know, just because he hasn't called you. Does that make sense?" she calmly stated.
I thought long and hard for about two minutes. "No it doesn't." I sighed. "You're right...maybe I was cocky whipped?" I suggested hopefully. "No honey" Belle stated "You were just settling. For the first time in a long time you found a single guy who treated you like a princess, you were spoiled by him, and you got too clingy. Now you're acting like a crazy, emotionally unstable woman...and all this for a man who possibly...and I may be wrong...just possibly wanted some coochie." she further explained.
I thought for another minute. Then sighed, maybe she was right. I was acting out of desperation for a man I barely knew. What in the world men had over us that they could make a prefectly normal woman act like a deranged, psychotic, mentally unstable freak!? I went from 0 to 100 in two weeks! Now that I thought about it, I was such an idiot! I should have anticipated this! From he told me Tricia was coming back...and after a week I never heard from him, he didn't answer my calls, nor return them, I should have just said "Oh well, he was a great fuck...Next!" And move one. But no, I turned into a snivelling, worrying, whining, bawling, emotionally attached, man-clinging, out of control, freak. The type of women I love to hate. Well No more.
If this is what Baby moma's did to perfectly sane women who were convinced that there was nothing going on between their new partner and the mother of his chil/children, then I was not gonna have anymore of it. You live and you learn, Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me.
"Thank Belle"...I siffled, drying my tears. 'So what you gonna do honey", she asked. I stopped drying my tears and a sinister smile came on my face.."I have a date". I replied. "With who!?" she exclaimed.
"Would'nt you want to know! I'll call you in a day or two and let you know how it went! Cioa darlinggggg! Muah!" I shrieked and hung up before she started grilling me. I went to my little black book, picked up the phone, and searched for a number. "Hey Jack, yea..long time no talk..what you doing later?" I smiled happily.
