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BUDDY GRABBIJ + DI ALLIANCE

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KIEVA A RECESSION?

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CONFESSIONS OF A DANCEHALL EX WIFE PART 20

Someone once said - Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen. Marco. My Marco. We made a date and the venue was the guesthouse in St. Mary. Our first illicit hideaway. We checked in, the same room. It as romantic to me. Did he even remember that it was here that we started? Fond memories rushed back as we stepped through the door. Memories that now became my reality, again. It was the first room we slept in, that we enjoyed each other, and the moment was here again. For the rest of the evening we made love. Not anything aggressive, rushed or without feeling. Marco was in his best form yet, cool, calm, seductive and caring. He took his time, the cell phones were off, the shades closed, just him and me becoming one. There wasn’t much words, but the look that he had spelt a man on a mission of seduction and who was a master at achieving his goal. Was I being fooled again? Was he taking me for a ride? Maybe. But each time that those thoughts crossed my mind, when I began to think about distancing myself from him, my emotions took over. So what if I wanted to be used? I was enjoying it. These moments were few and far between and I had a right to be cared for, loved, even if for a few precious hours. Marco did have some feelings for me. He must have. But as I did not know how long this imperfect situation was going to last, I was living for the now, not the later. As I nestled my head on his muscled chest, his arms wrapped around me, listening to the beat of his heart, I didnt want to leave. I just didnt want the moment to end.




We didnt speak of the meeting with the Superintendent of Police, though I suspected that he knew about it, what went on, and how it ended. We didnt speak of Marvin, and his predicament, the uncertainty of his future. We spoke of little things. His leg injury and his visits to the doctor. My loneliness at home at times. The pressures of life he is facing making provision for his daughters. The fact that things are now unsettled between himself and Bumpy. They were not on any good terms. The quarrels were becoming frequent and more violent. It was not just about him though. When I looked in his eyes, as he spoke about things, I saw sadness, hurt. This was a personal side. Marco looked at me and then he changed the subject. He asked how I was doing. Not good. He gave me words of comfort, told me to just hang in there and all will be ok. I wanted to know if this was how we were going to live till it ends, hiding in order to be one with each other, him living a lie outright and being untrue to Bumpy. Me living the lie with Marvin, family and so friends. But, did Bumpy know or suspect about us? Marco was a man who would capture any woman’s heart, who was sure about himself, always looking out for the woman in his life. The women I should say. I am not sure if I was the only one. Yes there was Bumpy, but what about those who I didnt know about. Those who enjoyed him as much as I did. Those who also found peace in his loving arms. Thoughts of a jealous woman living a contradictory life. “You would hurt me”? My eyes were closed. “Wat was that”?, I was unsure that he was talking to me or on his phone. “You would hurt me”?, he asked again. I opened my eyes and say him looking at me, searching for the right answer. “Why would I do that”?, I asked, wondering where all this was coming from. “I just want to know where yuh stand right now. Just answer the question”, his eyes appearing as if searching my soul. That question was simple, yet loaded. “No, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you”. He said nothing else.
I was at home going through some papers when the cell rang and I answered it. It was Andre Blingers. I hung up. He called back. “Why you treating me suh”?, he whined, almost child like. “Andre, wat yuh want”?, I was tired and had no time for games. “You. I want you. All of you. Nothing but you”, the presumptuous bwoy replied. Drunk maybe, annoying right now. “Little boy, you know that it would never work between us, that it would never happen, so just cool yuhself”. “Not because di big man control yuh mean seh yuh fi just shut yuh eye to everybody else”. “Andre, Marvin is ma man yes but him nuh control me, after me ah nuh property”, I had to interject. “But is not Marvin mi ah talk. Mi ah talk di real big man from down suh, Marco”. I stopped. How the hell did he know? Or was he bluffing? What did he know? “Nuh badda gwaan like seh yuh and the big man naw roll. But its all good still. Just haffi try put in a word fi myself”. “Wat you know bout me & Marco? Yuh know nothing cause there is nothing to know”, I was angry at his remarks. “Mi nuh call fi talk bout the big man, is you mi ah deal wid right yah....”. Click. I hung up. Then locked off the phone. I didnt want to hear anything more. Didnt want to think about it.
Having had the books and cards returned to me, I visited the banks in order to sort out my finances. Those accounts that were held by me were accessible but those held jointly with Marvin were unavailable. Something is still better than nothing. The Superintendent called me and asked me if I finished thinking over whatever it was I was considering and I told him that I needed more time. He didnt sound pleased but said that he would call me in the morning. Time was running out. I couldn’t hold out forever and I had to make some sound decisions. I made a beeline to the lawyer’s office, the one who had the case when Marvin was arrested for rape. He was in. I had to wait for a while. I explained the situation to him. Everything from Marvin’s arrest, the raid, straight to the last meeting at the police station. He made a few calls and soon I found myself in a meeting with two lawyers. I went into some detail about my situation, the history with myself and Marvin, carefully leaving out Marco’s name. I didnt feel that was important, not at this. There were gaps in my story and they pointed it out to me. Marvin’s finances, how the house and vehicles were acquired, the source of my income. But, in relation to the statement, whatever the contents, I was advised not to sign. Furthermore, they concluded that the government had on interest in me and Marvin’s arrangements and how we sourced our income. Big words were used, long explanations, one conclusion. I was in some fucking trouble and I had to face it as there was still more to come. Money. The cost to retain their services was bordering on extortion. My head hurt. I thought of going about this alone. I could not see myself giving so much to these men at this time. I got up but retook my seat when I thought of the possibility of losing everything, of putting Marvin in greater problems, in perhaps facing the law myself based on some things the lawyers explained. I was up shit creek without a paddle and professional help was my only hope. When I walked out the office, I was much much poorer, had two lawyers getting to work on my predicament and was looking on a future of home cooking and cable TV.
I called Marco and told him. Couldnt be bothered with the cloak and dagger business. He listened, I gave him the names of the lawyers, he asked a few questions and he got his answers. I didnt tell him about what I saw, or thought I saw, in the document that was shown to me by the police. Marco asked me if I spoke to Marvin about all this. Nope. Did not and could not as he was still in lock down the last time I checked. On my way home, I had to make a stop. I dont know why, but I had to go and see them. I was kinda like family and I had to show some interest. I pulled up to the house and saw a number of vehicles parked along the roadway as also in the yard. He was on the driveway speaking to s few people. I introduced myself and he seemed happy to see me. He remembered me from the funeral. Wilton Pendegrast was still a pleasant man. He called his wife and she came outside with Marvin JR in her arms. I looked at the child and she offered him to me to hold. I took him gingerly, and looked in his handsome face. He looked at up at me, his stepmom of sorts, and held my blouse and laughed. I was invited inside. Apparently they were having a small gathering or something as I saw food and drinks laid out on under a tent on the front lawn. Whatever it was, it appeared to be catered. Several persons were milling around, young and old, and music was playing. Mr. Pendegrast explained that one of his daughters was having a social before she departed for school in the United States. I was left to my own way with Marvin JR and made my way through the house, exchanging hellos as I went through. I knew he was here, but I wasn’t here for him. I was here to see the little one. On the back porch, drinking beer and chatting with the ladies was Andre. But that wasn’t what held my interest. Under a tree to the back of the yard, seated by a table were Marco and Frassman.